A collection of 40 hilariously funny computer quotes and sayings that will make you laugh out loud. If you love funny quotes, you will love these selection of computer-related quotes. A few of these quotes are old but they can still tickle you a bit.
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Funny Computer Quotes
It’s a curious thing about our industry: not only do we not learn from our mistakes, but we also don’t learn from our successes. – Keith Braithwaite
Filling out a credit card application, my friend came upon this question: ‘What is your source of income?’ She wrote: ‘ATM.’ – Michael Mcrae
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. – Gerald Weinberg
In order to understand recursion, one must first understand recursion. – Anonymous
The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it’s too late. – Seymour Cray
The great thing about Object Oriented code is that it can make small, simple problems look like large, complex ones.
The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.
I think Microsoft named .Net so it wouldn’t show up in a Unix directory listing. – Oktal
Deleted code is debugged code. – Jeff Sickel
Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen. – Edward V Berard
If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in. – Edsger Dijkstra
Failure is not an option — it comes bundled with Windows.
The cheapest, fastest, and most reliable components are those that aren’t there. – Gordon Bell
Windows Vista: It’s like upgrading from Bill Clinton to George W. Bush.
The only problem with troubleshooting is that sometimes trouble shoots back.
Ready, fire, aim: the fast approach to software development. Ready, aim, aim, aim, aim: the slow approach to software development. – Anonymous
Before software can be reusable it first has to be usable. – Ralph Johnson
It’s not a bug – it’s an undocumented feature. – Anonymous
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.
A good programmer is someone who always looks both ways before crossing a one-way street. – Doug Linder
Quotes that will make you laugh it loud
If you don’t want to be replaced by a computer, don’t act like one.
Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it’s released. Beta is Latin for “still doesn’t work”. – Anonymous
Difference between a virus and windows ? Viruses rarely fail.
Some things Man was never meant to know. For everything else, there’s Google
Don’t worry if it doesn’t work right. If everything did, you’d be out of a job. – Mosher’s Law of Software Engineering
Without requirements or design, programming is the art of adding bugs to an empty text file. – Louis Srygley
The best performance improvement is the transition from the nonworking state to the working state. – J. Osterhout
One man’s crappy software is another man’s full-time job. – Jessica Gaston
The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit
The best method for accelerating a computer is the one that boosts it by 9.8 m/s2. – Anonymous
There are only two kinds of programming languages: those people always critic everything and those nobody uses.
There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works. – Alan J. Perlis
Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction was to try and scare it with the cursor?
What if one day Google got deleted and we could not Google what happened to Google?
If you think patience is a virtue, try surfing the net without high-speed Internet.
Dear humans, in case you forgot, I used to be your Internet. Sincerely, The Library.
I changed my password everywhere to ‘incorrect.’ That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, ‘Your password is incorrect.’
The only relationship I have is with my Wi-Fi. We have a connection.
Why can’t cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.
My wife loves me so much, she tries her best to attract me to her. The other day she put on a perfume that smells like a computer.