Funny Computer Quotes
Funny Computer Quotes

A collection of 40 hilariously funny computer quotes and sayings that will make you laugh out loud. If you love funny quotes, you will love these selection of computer-related quotes. A few of these quotes are old but they can still tickle you a bit.

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Funny Computer Quotes

#1

It’s a curious thing about our industry: not only do we not learn from our mistakes, but we also don’t learn from our successes. – Keith Braithwaite

#2

Filling out a credit card application, my friend came upon this question: ‘What is your source of income?’ She wrote: ‘ATM.’ – Michael Mcrae

#3

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. – Gerald Weinberg

#4

In order to understand recursion, one must first understand recursion. – Anonymous

#5

The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it’s too late. – Seymour Cray

Funny Computer Quotes
Funny Computer Quotes

#6

The great thing about Object Oriented code is that it can make small, simple problems look like large, complex ones.

#7

The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.

#8

I think Microsoft named .Net so it wouldn’t show up in a Unix directory listing. – Oktal

#9

Deleted code is debugged code. – Jeff Sickel

#10

Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen. – Edward V Berard

Cute Computer Quotes

Funny Computer Quotes
Funny Computer Quotes

#11

If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in. – Edsger Dijkstra

#12

Failure is not an option — it comes bundled with Windows.

#13

The cheapest, fastest, and most reliable components are those that aren’t there. – Gordon Bell

#14

Windows Vista: It’s like upgrading from Bill Clinton to George W. Bush.

#15

The only problem with troubleshooting is that sometimes trouble shoots back.

#16

Ready, fire, aim: the fast approach to software development. Ready, aim, aim, aim, aim: the slow approach to software development. – Anonymous

Funny Computer Quotes
Funny Computer Quotes

#17

Before software can be reusable it first has to be usable. – Ralph Johnson

#18

It’s not a bug – it’s an undocumented feature. – Anonymous

#19

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.

#20

A good programmer is someone who always looks both ways before crossing a one-way street. – Doug Linder

Quotes that will make you laugh it loud

#21

If you don’t want to be replaced by a computer, don’t act like one.

#22

Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it’s released. Beta is Latin for “still doesn’t work”. – Anonymous

Funny Computer Quotes
Funny Computer Quotes

#23

Difference between a virus and windows ? Viruses rarely fail.

#24

Some things Man was never meant to know. For everything else, there’s Google

#25

Don’t worry if it doesn’t work right. If everything did, you’d be out of a job. – Mosher’s Law of Software Engineering

#26

Without requirements or design, programming is the art of adding bugs to an empty text file. – Louis Srygley

#27

The best performance improvement is the transition from the nonworking state to the working state. – J. Osterhout

#28

One man’s crappy software is another man’s full-time job. – Jessica Gaston

#29

The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit

#30

The best method for accelerating a computer is the one that boosts it by 9.8 m/s2. – Anonymous

Funny Computer Quotes
Funny Computer Quotes

Good Short Computer Quotes

#31

There are only two kinds of programming languages: those people always critic everything and those nobody uses.

#32

There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works. – Alan J. Perlis

#33

Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction was to try and scare it with the cursor?

#34

What if one day Google got deleted and we could not Google what happened to Google?

#35

 If you think patience is a virtue, try surfing the net without high-speed Internet.

Funny Computer Quotes
Funny Computer Quotes

#36

Dear humans, in case you forgot, I used to be your Internet. Sincerely, The Library.

#37

I changed my password everywhere to ‘incorrect.’ That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, ‘Your password is incorrect.’

#38

The only relationship I have is with my Wi-Fi. We have a connection.

#39

Why can’t cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.

#40

My wife loves me so much, she tries her best to attract me to her. The other day she put on a perfume that smells like a computer.

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